I fancied the pants off her!

Dear Suzie, 

theres this girl that works in my FAVOURITE store. i noticed her around christmas time when i was in shopping with my mum, as soon as i saw her i fancied the pants off her. around the end of jan i saw her out but i was extremely drunk. i got to make out with her though and she told me she fancied me. however her friends came over to me and told me she had a boyfriend and that they were in-love. i hadnt went into the shop after that cause i couldnt remember alot of the things she was talkin to me about that night and i probably said some things that i shoudnt have. the other week i went into the shop and she was there my friend said to me if the girl that i liked was workin there that day. i didnt want to turn round to look, then she said ‘is it one of those three girls looking at u over there?’ lol but i couldnt look around to check. we went downstairs again after being upstairs and eventualy i saw her. my friend told me that she had been staring at me while i was there. when i went to the register i looked at her, she was lookin at me but when i looked back at her she looked away. i saw her last week out of the shop twice in one day aswell i REALLY want to ask her out but im afraid she still might have a boyfriend but because i keep meeting her im pretty sure im meant to go out with her. how do i ask her out, and know without getting hurt that she has/hasnt a boyfriend?

thx for ur time 🙂

 
You know all those ads which promise you “An easy way to lose weight in three weeks without having to work at it” or “How to gain a 6 pack in a fortnight without any pain”? Well, they lie. Life is not pain free and neither is it easy. If you want to get the girl you have to do something about it, and you have to risk being turned down. If she has a boyfriend and doesn’t want to go out with you, it’s going to hurt. If she hasn’t got a boyfriend and still doesn’t want to go out with you, it will hurt. But not knowing and constantly worrying and wondering seems to me to be the most painful option of all.

 I know it feels difficult and scary but the only way you’ll ever know is if you get in touch with her. And i think you should. Has it occurred to you to think what the situation looks like to her, so far? This guy staggered up to you, pissed out of his mind, a few months ago. He made out with you, seemed to listen to you, probably slurred out “I love you!” and then staggered off…and never got in touch again. What’s more, he keeps coming by with his mates and when you catch his eye he turns away, disdainfully. As far as you can see, he took advantage of you, laughs at you behind your back with his mates and wants nothing to do with you. All you can think is “What did I do wrong?”

 You don’t want her to think like that about you, do you? Specially when you like her so much and would so like to be with her. If for no other reason than to be a decent human being rather than a prat, you owe her an explanation and an apology. You need to tell her you fancied the pants off her and still do. That you really, really regret the only time you spent with her was when you were too drunk to remember what she said or what you did. And that if she doesn’t have a boyfriend you’d really like to ask her out and make up for all that. And if she does, you’ll wait around until she finishes with him.

That so hard? Well – yes, I know, it is. But if you want to be someone that someone like her would like to be with, it’s what you need to do. If you can’t say it to her face, write it in a letter and send it to her or get your friend to take it to her. You owe it to her.

 And you owe it to yourself to make a better impression than you already have. Remember two things for the future. One is, if you want to score don’t get drunk. Getting drunk may seem a big laugh but the truth is it’s dangerous, it’s unpleasant and it’s a turn off. The other is if you want to get off with a girl, treat her with respect and tell her what you think and what you feel. Try “I really fancy you. Come out with me?” It’s simple, it’s honest and it gets it done. Good luck!