I dont want to make the first move, in case he knocks me back.

Dear Suzie,  

I really fancy this guy who i work with and i use to go to school with him. I’ve only really got to know him since we have started working together, as we never really use to talk in school. 

We get on really well and he always makes me laugh and anytime we are on a break, he always comes and sits down beside me. Also anytime we see each other in work he always comes to talk to me or i always go over to see him. But i normanlly have to strike up the conversation.

In work i sometimes catch him looking over at me and he has caught me doing the exact same. He also gives me a wee smile when i see him or he sometimes gives me a cheeky grin followed by a wave.

We both always joke around with each other and make playful comments about each other. 

Everytime i see him my heart skips a beat and i feel myslef blushing. I also notice when we are talking he touches and rubs his neck and he fiddles slightly! are these good signs??? 

But im really confused wheter or not hes into me and we only really see each other in work! I really wish their was a way to know or if he would even give me a sign! Because i really dont want to make the first move, incase he knocks me back. 

I’ve felt this way about him for many months and its driving crazy!

 
One of the joys of being a human being is that we’re not telepathic; we can’t read minds. That’s a joy because it means you can be surprised by people, retain your own identity and can keep your own thoughts private. But it’s also a pain because … well, because we can’t read minds and that means  we can’t tell what other people think of us or about us. Sometimes that’s a relief – you’d hate to be privy to some people’s thoughts about you! But it means that any move to strengthen a relationship carries some risk; one of you has to take the first step and make themselves vulnerable. Just in case you’ve got it wrong and you like them but they don’t feel the same about you.

We may not be able to read minds but our body language gives a lot of it away. And whether you realise it or not, you pick up on the clues and cues. Much of the time, we like someone partly because they like us. He looks at you, smiles at you, comes across to talk to you, fiddles and by the sound of it gets hot and bothered when he does.

 Good grief, woman – what more of a hint do you need? Well, I know what you want. You want him to be the one to take the risk. But isn’t that unfair? Men always have to be the ones making the first move, and it’s damn hard. It wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t silly women around who either take a delight in putting down and being nasty to guys to take the risk, or allowed themselves to get so twisted up that they flunk the chance when offered them.

 So – get a grip. If you like him, take that risk. Say “Seen that new film? Want to come with me tomorrow?” or “Fancy a drink after work this Friday?” Or “Some friends of mine are having a barbecue/a party/going to see a band… want to join me?” If he knocks you back, it won’t be the end of the world. Far, far worse is saying nothing then standing by as some braver woman steps in and whisks him away. Then you’d feel sick, wouldn’t you? He may not turn out to be the love of your life. But you’ll never know unless and until you try.