Dear Suzie, i love and enjoy the sex between me and my boyfriend of nearly 2 years but i am not sure if he does he says he does but i want to know if he is tellin the truth what can i do???
What can you do to make sure he is telling the truth? Oh dear. Well, you can ask him submit to a polygraph test I suppose. There are several companies offering it and when I googled “lie detector” I even found a website apparently telling you how to make a lie detector yourself (but I’d be very wary of that!)
But even lie detectors can be fooled by a skilled liar or someone who doesn’t care. I’d say it would far more effective, and far more important, for you to ask yourself why you don’t believe him.
You’re having sex with him. You’ve been with him for 2 years. You say you enjoy the sex you have between you and he says so does he. So why are you asking this? Has he given you reason to distrust him? Have your life experiences left you feeling low in self confidence and self esteem so you doubt that he could or should enjoy this intimacy you share?
The only reasonable way to find out if someone is telling the truth is to ask them. If you can’t trust what they say, it’s for one of two reasons. Either your instincts are correct and they are not trustworthy – in which case, get out while the going is good. Or because you have a problem, either with intimacy or with accepting your own self worth – in which case, address that and seek some help.
I can’t tell you which it is but I bet you can, if you think about it. A counsellor from Relate could help, either way. Find one near you at Relate. They also do phone counselling – for info on that call 08451 30 40 16. Good luck!