In the two years since I separated from my girlfriend with whom I lived for five years, I have become increasingly worried about the size of my penis, and my sex drive in general.
About six months before we split up, my girlfriend uncovered a stash of pornographic magazines and women’s knickers that I kept hidden in the garage. When she confronted me with them, I decided that honesty was the best policy and I told her that I had felt the need to masturbate regularly since adolescence and that I only wore the women’s knickers during masturbation sessions.
Unfortunately, she showed no understanding and drew the conclusion that I was a transvestite and that the reason I have such a large penis was because I masturbated so often. Things got even worse when she started to confide in her friends and they basically told her that I was a weirdo and that she was crazy to put up with the soreness that she sometimes suffered after our more vigorous lovemaking sessions.
After this she rarely let me penetrate her and often made disparaging remarks about my cock. She even told me that I embarrassed her in front of her friends because they would notice the protrusion in my trousers and tease her by referring to me as The Donkey. Now that I am single again, I find myself masturbating more than ever, sometimes up to four times a day. When my girlfriend said that masturbation had caused my cock to grow abnormally big I dismissed this as nonsense.
However, I am now starting to wonder if she was right because it has actually grown in length by about a third of an inch since we separated and is now a fraction under ten inches long. I know that there are bigger penises than mine around, but I would be interested to know how common it is to find ones as big as I have.
Does the fact that I often wear women’s knickers for masturbation mean that I have transvestite tendencies, and would it be wise for me to inform future girlfriends about my habits in order to avoid the scenario that led to the break-up of my relationship with my last girlfriend? With regard to my tendency to get erections in public places, do I run the risk of persecution for indecent behaviour?
Having a penis that’s just over six inches long when relaxed as well as large testicles means that most trousers are unable to hide the outline of my genitals and I have noticed that people’s glances are often drawn to my crotch area. Several times now I have found myself standing on a crowded tube train with women seated just in front of me and then it felt my penis getting a full erection with little means for me to conceal it.
Now, you see you went one step too far in this fantasy and spoiled it. I might – just might – have believed you had a ten inch dong. Very, very unlikely as the average is 6¼ but there are a few rare birds – usually found in the porn industry – that can reach such lengths. I began to find it all very unlikely when you said your girlfriend not only complained and disparaged you in private but made fun of you in front of friends.
Darlin’, if any girl was that stoopid she’d be so at her own peril; the chances are half her circle would as one cry “You don’t like it? Hand him over!” In my experience, far more women say they like a large one than protest they don’t. Laughing at you would be the last thing on their minds, and while I do acknowledge that men with large penises find it ain’t all as peachy in the bedroom as those with small ones think, they rarely complain about the show it makes. But you ruined it all by claiming yours has grown since your girlfriend has gone.
No, penises cannot and do not grow in length after adolescence. They expand as the genitals develop during puberty but that’s it; what you have when you finish growing, sometime during the teenage years, is what you stay with. Sadly, some kids still believe masturbating has something to do with it, because body development coincides with an increased interest in sex and with an increased incidence of self pleasuring. A young lad notices his penis expands as he rubs it and around the same time he sees it gain heft and weight, and often puts 2 and 2 together and gets 5. There is a link but it’s not that wanking makes you grow (except temporarily!). It doesn’t, during adolescence or at any other time.
It’s also very common for young men going through the hormonal and emotional upheavals of adolescence to get frequent and uncontrolled erections but less so for adults to get this. If this was happening to an adult I’d suggest speaking with a doctor to see if it has an emotional cause – grief, depression, obsession – or a physical cause. If this was a young man talking I’d suggest he does what most learn to do – carry school cases in front of them to hide their arousal and to wear looser trousers rather than skin tight ones, if they don’t want to be seen getting excited. Most people are tolerant of kids getting hair-triggered but would be less so of a grown man, feeling he was putting on a deliberate exhibition. As he would be, if he stood in trains with his crotch in women’s faces wearing tight trousers knowing this was a tendency.
Methinks you protest too much.
But in most cases of excessive masturbation in adults the reasons are emotional rather than physical – fear of commitment, inability to make relationships, anxiety after a bad break up. For genuine cases of this, I’d recommend talking to a counsellor and getting whatever was worrying you sorted out.
As for what constitutes excessive and how often people “should” masturbate; it’s a piece of string. Some men and women are happy to masturbate twice a day or more often and are quite content about it. Teens particularly go at it with a will why not. Others feel the same about once a month. There’s a problem if your masturbation comes first – if it affects your life, working or social, and is a refuge from real relationships rather than being a pleasant addition to your life. And as for penis size and women – well, the vagina can expand to take a baby’s head. You think you that big?
And penetrative sex isn’t the be all and end all of sex. Some women prefer their partners to do deep penetration and like a large penis; other prefer just having the tip in and like small ones. There are no rules. And men often prefer to wear women’s pants without it meaning they are transvestite. But not recognising that behaviour such as masturbating into a stash of women’s knickers while looking through a stack of porn magazines might be hurtful to a regular girlfriend might display a tadge lack of empathy and understanding. All in all, I’d suggest you would benefit from a talk with a counsellor to get your feelings and your behaviour understood and under your own control, or to sort out what might be appropriate to you age and situation.